How To Love Your Body When You’re Struggling With Your Weight

Photo Credit: Shutterstock/Jacob Lund

Even with the body positive movement so many women are still hating their bodies and developing low self esteem. If I can be open and honest for a second, I wholeheartedly understand where you’re coming from. Some of you look in the mirror and can only find things that you hate about your body. Many of you are dealing with your friends and family telling you, you’re getting fat. Some of them may say it nicely but others, not so much. It’s during times like this that you need to be your own self motivator.

Never Allow Anyone To Make You Feel Less Than

So many women and men have been taught to hate themselves when they’re fat and love themselves when they’re thin. I use to live my life with that way of thinking. It’s been 10 years since I’ve dropped that ideology. For years I lived my life allowing people to tell me  how much I should weigh, what size I should be wearing, and how I should be dressing for my size. One day I just became so sick of being told how I should feel about my own body that I vowed to never allow someone else to make me feel bad about my body.


My thoughts play a significant part into how I feel about my body. Even now when I am the biggest I’ve ever been in my life, I will not allow negative body image thoughts to take over me. To combat a negative or distorted body image, I do a couple of things to keep my mind healthy. People always talk about a healthy body but never talk about a healthy mind. I think if you can ONLY feel good about yourself when you’re thin, it’s not healthy for your mind.

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. If you can only be happy with your body when you’re thin, what happens when you gain weight? Are you gonna hate your body again? I remember looking at the Biggest loser contestants on an old Oprah show. Some of the contestants were sharing what life was like after being on the show. Some of them kept their weight off and many of them gained some of their weight back and they scolded themselves for  it. When I saw that, I instantly knew I never wanted to live my life only loving my body when I am thinner.

Fat People Are Not The only People With Body Issues

Weight struggles are not only for fat people. Despite what we see on weightloss commercials or on social media. There are a myriad of women and men who are doing dangerous surgeries and injections to get the so called Instagram body. You know what I’m talking about. The super sized butt and tiny waist. I think the common goal we should all have is to develop a realistic and healthy mindset about our bodies.

The body positive movement plays a huge part in helping society create spaces for women of all shapes and sizes to be represented and seen in a positive light.


I have days where I look in the mirror and think to myself you better work that body, girl. Just shake what ya momma gave ya. Then there are days I do look in the mirror and say to myself ugh, why is my stomach grazing the top of the dresser as I do my makeup? When I have those kind of days I do a few things to get my mind right. So, I wanted to share with you some healthy tips on how to love your body when you’re struggling with your weight.

Be Honest About How You Feel

about how you feel about your body in the moment. I am a believer that honesty is truly the best policy when it comes to body image. When I feel like I’m putting on unwanted weight I acknowledge it and then I think about things I can do to get me where I want to be with my body.

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Listen to music that makes you feel good

Sounds cheesy, I know but it works. My music of choice is anything by Beyoncé. Whenever I hear flawless or bootylicious it puts me in a fantastic mood and I shake my body all around. Even my stomach had its own dance. Music is powerful and can instantly put you in a good mood.

Wear Sexy Lingerie

Sometimes I like to stand in front of the mirror with a sexy matching bra and panty set and pose. I know it sounds silly but it makes me feel good and look at body in a positive light. Doing this has helped me to identify the many things I live about my body. plus size lingerie gif

Do a Fun Workout

working out is not only good for the body but it’s excellent for changing your mood. Whether it’s yoga, Zumba, Pilates a pole dancing workout, exercising releases the feel good endorphin’s. Hello, instant mood changer.


Adopt a Body Positive Mantra

The great thing about the body positive movement is the amount of encouragement it gives. I love some of the mantra’s that encourage positive thinking and self love. Not everyone needs a mantra but I find them good to have. Sometimes I say mine out loud or I just read over it repeatedly.bodymantras

Write Notes

Write nice notes to yourself on a post it and stick it on a mirror or in a notebook. Reference it on those not so good days.


Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Stop comparing your body to others. Work with what you got. Find what you love about your body and embrace it.

Dress The Body You Have Now

Whether you’re trying to lose weight or maintain weight, or just tone up, always wear clothes that fit the body you have now. I personally believe that clothes are magical. When you find a piece that fits you perfectly as if were made for you, all your negative body issues fly out the window.

Share some of your healthy tips you do to help you when you’re struggling with your weight.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock/


  1. February 6, 2017 / 11:53 am

    Love this post darling!!! It all begins in our minds.

  2. January 27, 2020 / 3:02 pm

    Be honest with yourself and wear what suits your body now is my biggest takeaway. Life will pass by let’s maximize the time we have now. Surround yourself with positive people.

    • alissa
      January 28, 2020 / 7:11 am

      Yes! You got it.

  3. Yolanda Lugo-Montalvo
    September 14, 2020 / 9:09 pm

    I’m 61 and have had four children. My weight and body issues come from childhood. Like many plus size women, I have days in which I don’t like my body and days when I look in the mirror and say, girl you look fabulous. It is all a mindset which we carry and need to change every day. We have to learn to love ourselves the way we are and yes dress as we are now. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve ourselves, we also don’t need to put ourselves in danger in order to conform to society’s expectations of what a women’s body should look like.

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