CAN A FAT GIRL GET THE HOT GUY?

Photo credit: Redskyethoughts

A few weeks ago Rosie O’Donnell said that Glee star Ashley Fink’s ( Lauren Zises on Glee) character’s relationship with popular jock Puck was unrealistic. According to Rosie, “Every woman I know who’s heavy has very strong feelings about that storyline,” says Rosie. “They’re like, ‘Can you believe that? I think it’s horrible. That never happens in school. That character is so unlikable. Why didn’t they get a pretty heavy girl?'”

After reading her comment I had to think to myself and say, why can’t a fat girl get the hot guy? I’ll admit when I first saw that they put Lauren and Puck together I said to myself this is not realistic. Then I had to think back on my own high school experiences with dating while being a big girl. From my own experience I’ve never had a problem dating a popular guy or even an athlete during high school and I was a chubby high school girl. I even knew of some jocks who actually preferred bigger girls. Now I know every high school is not the same and there are women who are out there and feel like their weight is a reason why they can’t get the popular guy.

What I also think is that television has embedded in our brains for years that fat girls can’t get no love just because they’re fat. Fat actresses either play the funny friend or the fat friend who’s trying to lose some weight. It’s time that we no longer accept those depictions of fat women. Ashley’s character around Puck is confident and bold and that’s what we need to see more of on television and in movies. It’s 2011 and we this is not Mars this is America. It should not be abnormal to see a fat girl on TV being sexy and having her pick at any hot guy she wants.

I remember during my high school days of feeling insecure, a friend of my sister’s changed my life when it came to being a big girl and dating. She told me to never allow my weight to make me feel like I can’t get the guy I want. Her exact words were “Every dog likes a little meat on his bone.” Her words forever changed me.

After hearing about Rosie’s comments Ashley responded by saying this:
“I am surprised at the comments she made. I’ve got swagger too, so I don’t find my storyline unrealistic.”

And we shouldn’t either. Ashley’s character has shown that fat women can be confident and most importantly that fat girls can get the HOT guy too. I hope Glee producers continue to grow Lauren’s character on the show as a confident plus size girl.

I would love to hear your opinions on this.

31 Comments

  1. Michaniya Cunningham
    March 18, 2011 / 9:52 am

    Wait. So we’re mad about the fact that the media is showing us some fat love? Oh Rosie, stupid Rosie. And to do what so many people have done to fat people and imply that Lauren is ugly…that’s low. And I don’t know which heavy women she knows, because I love me some Pucken (puck and lauren). She’s feisty, cute, sweet, and strong, and he’s completely head over heels. It really speaks to me and this storyline is the reason I started watching Glee on a regular basis. Simple, Rosie needs to shut her stupid mouth (childish I know, lol). Ugh, why must we always put each other down?

  2. March 18, 2011 / 9:09 am

    To be honest, I still find the coupling unrealistic. Only because they do not have any sort of chemistry. At all. Now, in regards to fat girls getting hot guys: IT IS DEFINITELY POSSIBLE. Not even possible, it is TRUE. It happens. I never thought it was a myth or something.

  3. March 18, 2011 / 9:28 am

    GREAT topic, Ms!

    Actually, as bonafide Gleek, I can tell you that this is not Puck’s first plus-size chick. He was also into Mercedes but no one had an issue with that.

    I think it’ s interesting. Mercedes is on the smaller side of ‘plus.’ She is petite (she’s prolly about 5’3-5’5)and has what many in the world consider to be the ideal female shape (not saying I do, just speaking candidly about the stereotype).

    Conversely, Ashley F. is very tall and apple-shaped; she is, every way, a ‘big girl,’ (And a lovely one at that; I’ve seen a few of her interviews and a)a cutie pie;they rough her up for part as Lauren b)her charisma is off the charts.)

    So what’s the difference?

    I think this is it: As much as we struggle for size acceptance we have a real issue with ‘shape acceptance.’ And as we saw from Rosie’s comment, some of that comes from within the plus-size community.

    People think it’s ok to fat….so long as your fat is still in all the ‘right’ places.

    So can the fat girl get the hot guy–yes!

    Will the media and the world EVER allow different definitions of fat AND pretty to exist? Now THAT’s a different story…

  4. LaCara
    March 18, 2011 / 10:28 am

    Awesome topic!

    I think the storyline is great!! “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” and I know plenty of my plus-size diva’s (and sometimes myself) pull the hottest guys. I think what the storyline is portraying is that ANYTHING is possible, and it is realistic.

    I love Ashley’s response, and I think Rosie has it all wrong.

  5. March 18, 2011 / 9:39 am

    @Addi- You bring up a very interesting point about Mercedes being on the smaller spectrum and Lauren being every bit of a plus size girl. I do think the world is only accepting of a certain shape when it comes to plus size women.

  6. March 18, 2011 / 9:40 am

    first off, Rosie needs to shut her mouth. Nobody cares what she has to say, she never says anything that adds value and it’s always adverserial or intentionally stirring up some sort of controversy.

    that said… i LIKE Lauren and Puck together. Puck always goes against the grain, and as the “bad boy” never seems concerned about what other people think with who he couples up with.

    Granted, when i was in high school eleventy million years ago in the 80s, i was not overweight but still had issues finding dates. it had nothing to do with my physical appearance and everything to do with my attitude. and Lauren’s got the most awesome attitude – she’s a lot like Mercedes where she says “this is who i am, take it or leave it.” and that is why i love the storyline of them together.

  7. March 18, 2011 / 10:12 am

    I love Glee and I’m cool with the story line with Puck and Lauren’s romance. He’s all over the place so it works for me. HOWEVER, what about Mercedes (Amber Riley)? Where is her love interest?? Everyone had swapped and dated and even found love outside the school, but Mercedes seems to be a-sexual, besides that VERY brief and mutually advantageous relationship with Puck. This is the only part of the storyline that is baffling. She’s amazing! HELLO!!!!

  8. March 18, 2011 / 10:44 am

    I agree that Rosie needs to be quiet. I don’t want Glee (I’m probably the only person in America!) I think that Ashley is quite cute and for Rosie to make such a remark shows how mean spirited she is. I’m hoping that we’ll see more real world type pairings. After all, most of the plus size women I know are married or in LTR and their fellas are definitely on the hot meter.

  9. March 18, 2011 / 12:04 pm

    LOVE the Zizes and Puck romance! Puck is more than a jock, and Lauren is more than a big girl. I applaud Glee for taking stereotypical characters and giving them depth. In the real world, no one is just one “type ” of person. There are plenty of plus-size women that date “hot” guys. Rosie O’Donnell is entitled to her opinion, but for her to say that it NEVER happens is an overstatement and flat wrong. What’s worse is that she insults Ashley Fink who is adorable as all get out. Can women stop snarking on each other’s looks for once? Geez…… great post!

  10. March 18, 2011 / 1:04 pm

    I’m pretty sure Rosie is just projecting some self loathing. She probably didn’t get any play in high school one cause she was too busy pickling in her deep closet and too because to be blunt shes kind of a mean bitch. I admit I didnt originally like Ashley’s character mostly because of the bothersome fact that they feel a need to add sleeves to all of her costumes and not Amber Rileys…but with this Puck storyline she has grown on me. On the topic of it being realistic I landed myself plenty of hot guys and hot girls in high school so its realistic to this chubby chick!
    xoxo
    Stiletto
    Lips Hips & FATshion Tips
    http://stilettosiren.com

  11. March 18, 2011 / 1:19 pm

    This is great!!! I saw the Rosie interview and Ashley Fink’s response and I totally agree with Ashley. I think the thing that sets her apart is her confidence. Men like a challenge, not the skinny girl, it’s just that so often the “hot girl’ is the challenge. When I was in high school I was the epitome of the “fat funny friend.” My best friend was gorgeous and every guy came to me with his desire to date her. It wasn’t until my senior year that I started taking art classes without my friend and feeling more confident about my abilities and in turn myself. This confidence must have shown through because suddenly I had more attention from the male population and not just any guys, real fun popular guys. Funny thing is, I was at my heaviest in high school my senior year. So I think the best point made here is that Lauren likes who she is, has standards and confidence, and presents herself as a challenge that any guy would find fun. Most plus size girls lack confidence and let themselves be put in the roles Rosie describes. Hopefully with characters like Lauren on popular shows, that will all change.

  12. March 18, 2011 / 11:27 pm

    I think Rosie’s comments are ridiculous and bravo to Ashley for saying something!

    I’ve never been too big, (about a size 18), but I remember distinctly in college a friend telling me she was envious because any party we walked into I could point a guy out, say he was hot and by the end of the night he was following me around. I never saw it that way, I was just friendly and didn’t take shit. A frat guy who had the nerve to try and pull down my shirt learned the hard way that this lady would smack the shit out of a guy who tried that.

    I think it comes down to personality. Of course the fat girl who hates herself could never get the guy who’s the popular kid (well, unless he’s that jerk who likes to control someone using their low self-esteem). But someone like Lauren could totally get a Puck because she has attitude and has made it clear he has to win her over, she’s not just gonna fall all over him. Love it.

  13. March 19, 2011 / 2:04 am

    I can’t believe Rosie would say that! It is really easy to judge though. Even as a feminist fattie myself, those thoughts still cross my mind. We should never assume what people prefer or find attractive. She is a hot lady and I am glad that they are showing something that is more realistic than what people are ready to handle. Hey world, fatties get the hot guy too!

  14. March 20, 2011 / 10:36 pm

    Ashley is the reason why I’ve gone back to watching Glee! I’ve stopped somewhere in season 1 but now I am starting to catch up. I don’t think it’s impossible for a fat girl to get a hot guy even though I have to concede that it may be harder (because some guys are just shallow that way) but ultimately everyone has the chance at finding Prince Charming.

  15. RhapsoDY
    March 21, 2011 / 11:31 pm

    I was going to do a post on this too! I remember when he was first going after her, they would use so many fat jokes and it’s like ok, come on, we get it. In my experience, the fat girl doesn’t get the hot popular guy. But I can believe it if it were to happen.

    Lauren’s character is very flirty, confident and in your face. She makes no apologies for who she is and she even makes it known that she loves the way she looks. What’s unrealistic about that is the fact that NO high school girl feels that way about herself and that’s the type of personality that can attract any man.

    I just wish it were Amber’s character that got Puck. They need to beef up her role before Lauren overshadows her altogether.

  16. pretty
    March 22, 2011 / 12:46 am

    It’s a big YES..! it doesn’t matter if ur big enough to have the hottest guy in ur school, office or even in ur town.. come to think of it, last a week i saw a couple walking in the street the girl was too big for his guy and has a defect in walking.. the guy was one of the hottest guy in our place.. and lately i knew they’ve been married for 3 years.. just believe in yourself..be creative with your self.. there’s no harm in fixing ur dressing style.

    http://www.plus-sizesclothing.com
    http://www.plus-sizesclothing.com/plus-sizes-clothing-articles/best-looks-for-plus-size-woman.html

  17. Anonymous
    March 22, 2011 / 2:01 pm

    I am a plus size girl but I am on the smaller spectrum of plus I I find the storyline unrealistic b/c honestly to me she is VERY unattractive and in my life and experiences bigger girls with pretty faces are way more accepted than a big unattractive girl. Big girls CAN get the hot guy yes they can but majority of the time she gets him in secret he would never admit to it in public and I have even seen chubby chaser guys that do it b/c of THEIR low self-esteem or to use big girls for money. Sad but true. My guy is hot and he never dated plus size before me but I think the black community is more accepting of plus size

  18. Anonymous
    April 1, 2011 / 11:01 pm

    I have to say I understand where Rosie O’Donnell is coming from…not to be mean or anything but I think Rosie might have been referring to the fact that the girl they hooked up with the guy looks kinda blah. My thing is they doll up all the other girls on the show but they seem to go out of their way to make her character look blah and act blah…my opinion. Are there hot guys that love big girls? Definitely but usually the girl either has a pretty face and/or an awesome personality. That character on Glee has neither. As far as popular guys dating a big girl it depends…I dated two jocks and I definitely was no skinny mini. I see plenty of big girls who look cute and dress cute and sometimes get more attention than the skinnier girls in school.

  19. April 8, 2011 / 3:14 pm

    a confident girl can usually get what she wants,just takes a guy who is confident with himself too!!! I am a believer and curvy gal tehe

  20. hhu32
    April 26, 2011 / 7:55 am

    Completely agree with what Anonymous said. The new girl is kind of boring, and it seems to me she was hired just because of her weight, not because she is an interesting actress or singer. I like mercedes and I think she could do really well if she was allowed to be more vulnerable. It’s not about weight but about depth, which has nothing to do with being pretty or skinny – just look at Dianna Agron…

  21. Anonymous
    April 27, 2011 / 10:18 pm

    To be honest, as an older woman (26) and haveing my up’s and downs in the weight department through high school i have to be honest and say i 100% agree with what she said. but it depends on the high school aged kids themselfs! high school boys are 99% of the time imature and are almost never going to date a girl that big lets just be honest here. the best sigh of reliefe is the fact that this changes as you get older

  22. August 8, 2011 / 3:43 am

    Nice read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. And he just bought me lunch as I found it for him smile Thus let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!

  23. Heather Garrett
    August 14, 2011 / 10:42 pm

    Brilliant & well thought through post! I’m an aspiring author who is venturing into romance pairings not on the market, the plus size woman. And I don’t mean plus or full figured like a 12 but in the above size 20’s. I get mixed opinions when I tell people of my current storyline of a size 22 mom and a younger, grad student. I’m tired of reading/watching plots that don’t involve women who look like me. I cheered when I watched the Puck/Lauren pairing, and follow Ashley on her twitter. It’s about time someone takes on one of the last big predjudices!

  24. Anonymous
    August 25, 2011 / 9:18 am

    “Every dog likes a little meat on his bone.”

    of course! MEAT, not FAT.

  25. Anonymous
    November 27, 2011 / 8:28 pm

    Fat girls can get the hot Guy, just don’t expect the relationship to last long. Eventually the hot guy will realize he can do a lot better.

  26. Anonymous
    December 23, 2011 / 10:17 pm

    I’m just going to put out there that I am a petite, big girl (age 19), and all throughout high school and even through my first year and a half of university, I have yet to get a date. People say that weight doesn’t or ‘shouldn’t’ matter, but the fact is, it does. It doesn’t bother me, or my friends, but the thing is, to most people these days weight is a factor when choosing someone to date…

  27. Anonymous
    January 4, 2012 / 12:39 pm

    tv hasnt ingrained anything into our heads about fat women being unattractive; NATURE has. Its evolution, guys want girls who work their butts off, THATS WHATS SEXY, thats whats we mean by sexy curves, not love handles, not back fat, not jiggling guts, we want thin tone and light. Those are the girls that arnt gna have heart attacks before our children grow up. those are the girls that arent going to eat all of the kids’ food (or our kids period,lol), those are the girls who have the INTELLIGENCE to know the right kind of food to eat and to recognise when their diet is causing them to look utterly disgusting. U fatties come up with every excuse in the book to try explain away these facts as uncontrollable, like its your skin color or some genetic defect. Its not. Youre lazy, u wont exercise enough(if at all) and you eat cheap, fast and unnatural crappy food with too much sugar. Num num num… delicious cake!!! Put the fork down u pigs. No one wants to look at ur fat unatractive bodies, no one wants to accept your obesity or accept you for “who u are as a person”, and no attractive guy with a hot body would EVER EVEN THINK about being with you without an underlying motive. Youre ways of thinking are conveluted to the max. You put so much thought and creativity into trying to get people to accept your fatness but u wont put on a pair of sweats and take a freaking half hour walk once a day?? Gimme a break… ur never gna win this one; it completely defies the laws of nature. Ur not hot, ur fat and thats gross. Period.

  28. Anonymous
    March 24, 2012 / 3:15 pm

    I am a little on the heavy side and in high school I never thought I was hot. Guys never asked me out but I had alot of guy friends well when I turned 15 my best friend who was a guy told me he liked me and wanted to be more then friends well then he cheated on me so I thought I was ugly. Well after that more guys started coming forward with feelings for me it was crazy I could of had what ever guy I wanted but I dint want to date so I turned them all down and after my 19th birthday my best friend that I had a crush on since I was 16 asked me out and we have been together for 4 years my size has been from a size 9 to a size 16 and he has loved me and tells me I am hot every day so yes can a heavy girl get a hot guy yes they can my hubby was the hottest guy in school every girl wanted to sleep with him but he chose me to be his forever and ever

  29. Michelle My Belle
    March 31, 2012 / 9:21 pm

    I must honestly say that as a plus sized teen, I thought I was unlovable, undatable, etc. In college and my twenties, I found that it was ME holding me back. Now in my thirties, I love my body and men love it too! I have dated several very hot men. Hot boys like big girls.

  30. June 17, 2012 / 9:14 pm

    This is great advice! Going to have to share it! Men definitely need to be more respectful of women. Love it! Check out my blog on this issue as well. Thanks for sharing.

  31. Eat.Style.Play
    August 22, 2012 / 9:43 am

    I’ll say that as a big woman I’ve bagged hot guys, and not “hot to me” but “how did she bag him” hot, because that’s what i’ve heard while walking down the street hand and hand.

    While I’m told i’m not that big, i’m still big (curvy) Whatever. Now as far as the show, there are some unrealistic situations all about, the only thing about this, that makes it realistic is that when a big girl shows as much as confidence as she does, sometimes it makes a guy think…”well damn, this girl girl should be lucky to have me, but she isn’t gawking over me?”
    When i saw that, I thought of a situation I was in, I wasn’t interested in this guy, he thought, that I had no sort of dating life, that i was desperate, and I made him work hard just to even be my friend, let alone date him. Eventually he explained to me why he liked me and how he thought I was a challenge, blah blah. He never did “bag” me but a drunk dial spilled all the beans on why he thought I should date him, and it wasn’t pretty.

    I think the media and people like Rosie make it worst though, as if we can’t have enough confidence, and if being big means we don’t deserve to be loved by a societies version of Hot. I hope Lauren excels and at least shows some girls out there, that you too can be bad ass even if you are big, because we know you can, I know we can. This is coming from someone who bagged the finest piece of fine and Captian of football in my senior year. and to this day he is still fine as hell.

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